random tragic story

General
#1

this will break the hearts of a few, but im drunk and you guys are probably the only people who will understand so go go gadget drunken forum posting!

just came back from an obaachan party, where my shamisen teacher and 8 other ladies from an older generation wished me farewell. some of them were senpais/kohais and some were just aquaintences. We played soome shamisen together. mostly me and my teacher as my peers were a bit shy. and then we had an awesome dinner of wonderful japanese things as you do…you know. and at the end of the night as were saying good bye one of the ladies who i didnt actually know, is talking to my teacher, obviously about my but my japanese isnt quite good enough to know exactly what about until she takes mistery ladys shamisen and offers it to me…and this is where the heart break it ladies and gentlemen…i was offered a free shamisen and i turned it down…i couldnt take it…and now that i have come back i think about all the people who would have killed for it but i just couldnt do it. A> cause it was the same as mine, only without the whatchamacallit…the rattler thingie the buzzing thingie… and B> cause basically I can`t afford to ship it back and i have to move out of my apartment in 3 days.

anywhoo so my am i telling you this? who knows…cause im pissed…and im sad…and its mildely related to shamisen…and also because it shows how awesome japanese people are. I was going to be given this shamisen…just given it…because they are awesome and they think i would have taken care of it. in the end it went to one of my senpai so its ok, it`s got a home. and now im back i feel kinda stupid because well…i guess i could have sold it to cover shipping fees, but then thinking like that …im cynical enough to be disgusted by that cynical thinking.

moral of the story. all those thinking about learning shamisen, think about comign to japan as well…make friends with loads of old(er) generation people, and if you have a curious spirit and they see how determined you are, you too will be offered crazy shit. Its a bloody good life here and i cant believe im leaving. and i hope to god i dont regred posting this come the morrow.

#2

Hey don’t beat yourself up Bru!
It’s hard to accept a gift on that scale, I would love to have a tsugaru shamisen but I would not have accepted it from the person either.
It’s not a bad thing, it shows good character, I know a few people that would snatch anything from someone’s hand before they had even finished offering it to them . It has an owner now anyway so it will be cherished :slight_smile:

#3

hey, if you accepted it and then sold it it would be wrong and quite bad i reckon… so better you did not…
besides you already have shamisen, right??? so dont worry to much about it, you did the right thing…

about 6 years ago, i walked into the local music shop in japan owned by a shamisen maker. i didnt know much about the shamisen at that time and was more interested in shakuhachi…however as soon as i got in, my attention got immediately drown to the selection of shamisens everywhere in the shop , even the double shamisen, kinda slash guitar shami style…thought uauu thats cool… ‘wanna try?’ the owner asked… ‘hi’, i said. so he handed me a shamisen , gave me all the accessories, bachi and stuff and i played shamisen for the first time in my life. i knew sakura, sakura on guitar and just tried to play it and it worked and sounded quite nice, the owner was so surprised that i could play straight away…i completely forgot about the shakuhachi and wanted to get shamisen instead…i loved it… i asked the guy how much would it cost and when he told me the price i realised : ‘forget about it!’. then, i asked him how much would second hand shami cost…he looked at me , went somewhere to the back of the shop, brought some pieces of wood, and right there infront of me put one shamisen together and handed it to me…‘Here., it is for you, a present…’ i could not believe it…so lucky…one minute i walk into the shop and another minute a walk out of the shop with a shamisen in my hands…???
later, i came back and bought some books, cd’s and strings, cause i wanted to give some money to him…

well thats my story of how i got to shamisen, if it wasnt for japanese kindness and generosity i would probably never start playing…arigatou!!

btw, i still have that shamisen, it is quite old, and with broken skin now, but still have it…

#4

I have not reached the politeness part of Japanese culture yet, but as long as the culture doesn’t demand that you accept a gift without hesitation, I’d say that you did what you felt was right. I don’t know how much you guys talked, but f you can’t get it of your mind I would recommend that you call back within a few days and explain that it was too great of a gift for your conscience to accept.

#5

Schmoolik, yup, this is what happens when the [yes, awesome] Japanese let you into their hearts. I feel your pain about leaving Japan and about the shamisen situation. You’ll see, tho’, that once you’ve been back for a while and things settle down for you again, this will become one of the many (I hope) beautiful memories you’ll have of your time in Japan.

#6

That was a beautiful gesture and even better for you to refuse but appreciate the thought.
Is very sad but i hope all the memories you made will last and be a comfort.

#7

Congrats, Shmoolik. (and I speak in all sincerity) Truly, in the situation you were in (not able to keep the shamisen anyway) I think you made the most mature choice. :slight_smile:

Receiving gifts in social situations is always difficult, especially when it’s unexpected and immediate. Sometimes accepting even though you don’t want it or declining even if you desperately desire it. And sometimes it’s good to just let fly and accept the things you want! :stuck_out_tongue:

In 2010, Masako’s family took me to see a shamisen sao maker in Shimane.

After our meeting, the maker’s wife offered me a set of nagauta zagane (the metal fittings inside the itomaki holes). Well, I’m not sure what was expected, but the very first thought that popped into my head was “This is for nagauta shamisen, I don’t need them.” I guess Masako’s mother read my mind and quickly accepted them for me. Being a stupid gaijin, I got off the hook. :wink:

Anywho, I can definitely respect the situation you were in. I think you acted from the mature side of yourself, and only later is the greedy side (which I have, and all humans have) is telling you that you should have taken it. :slight_smile:

On a note about the shamisen maker, he had a really cool shamisen made out of Shitan wood, but he left the carving marks (except for the top of the sao) for a natural look. :slight_smile:

#8

wooo survived the morning sans hangover! and didnt regret posting drunken shamisen adventure of the week. Although i would like to point out to non-UKers that pissed means drunk and not piss off i.e. angry. I wasnt angry, just a feeling a bit of "motainai" (thats a shame?) and also a feeling of how amazing people are.

i would also like to point out that were it an upgrade to my current shamisen i most possibly would have had a different reaction since i am in the market a more portable mitsuori. 人間は人間です. I have weird fantasies about my teacher deciding to upgrade her shamisen and me inheriting the current one…although she seems to have a fetish for new things. she`s really against me having a second hand shamisen, whats with that?!

anywhoo, that shamisen with the carving marks on it is awesome looking! OH man, there are shamisen makers in shimane? I was just there last week in izumo on a noodle expedition. shame, i should have really done a bit more research about my trip. oh well.

thanks all for the lovely messages

#9

I am so impressed with all the beautiful episodes you were talking while I was gone for holidays for two days! It feels like I myself am being praised just because being a Japanese. Thank you so much for the messages!

And let me give a useful Japanese sentence in such Shmoolick san’s case. お気持ちだけで充分です。(okimochi dake de joo bun desu.) it means I accept your kindness only. This Japanese is often used when you cannot accept the offered thing but you really appreciate someone’s offer.The short phrase is good enough to tell your feeling and situation toward Japanese people. But unfortunately, this cannot be used later on. It is used only when you get offered something.

#10

Kyoko-san, thank you for teaching us such a helpful phrase!

#11

@Kyle - love the look of that “natural” carved shamisen!

@Shmoolik:

…although she seems to have a fetish for new things. she`s really against me having a second hand shamisen, whats with that?!

From what I’ve been told by Japanese teachers and friends, culturally, some hold the belief that the spirit of the player melds/enters into the instrument (or tool, etc.). So when the owner passes away, people often get rid of the instrument to ensure that their spirit doesn’t stick around, etc. (Kyoko-san , perhaps you can explain this better than my quickie description…??) Anyway, your teacher might be concerned about such a situation, if you were to get a second-hand instrument, since one rarely knows where/how the seller came by it… fwiw.

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